Weddings, I know I am engaged and should be over the moon for wedding things but wedding things aren’t that fun to look at when you have no idea when your getting married. I have had to change the date to my wedding 3 times not one, not two, but THREE. It’s hard seeing everyone get married and you just sit by and have no wedding. I don’t even know if I will be able to marry the man of my life till after I graduate school which would mean he would have to go back to New York for a year and a half without me. I know distance makes the heart grow stronger but a year and a half is not ideal for me. Plus it makes no sense to have him move to New York and start a life to leave it and come to Pa the minute we are married. (for those of you who don’t know when I talk about school I mean college) 

I dont know if its lack of sleep or what but i just cant stop crying tonight. The one person who helps calming me isnt talking to me and well i keep praying but the more i pray the more i start thinking and the more i cry.